Random thoughts on style
Never end a sentence with a preposition? That is the sort of pedantry up with which I shall not put. (Winston Churchill)
Sometimes it's okay to savagely split an infinitive. (Me)
And if it sometimes seems right to start a sentence with 'and' or 'but,' do it.
Subject, predicate, object is almost always the right order. Until it gets boring.
Anglo-Saxon words make for sturdy, yeoman-like prose. The Romance words add, well, romance, even insouciance, but use them sparingly, n’est pas? (Strunk and White)
Strunk and White also banished the use of “however” at the beginning of a sentence. They preferred “nevertheless”. What a dumb opinion from such smart guys. However you look at it.
Elmore Leonard, who handed out some pretty good writing advice, said to never start a book with the weather. I wrote a book set in a beach town during the winter. When should I have alerted the reader that there was a blizzard outside?
Whom and shall are oft-neglected, beautiful words. For Who the Bell Tolls? You may eschew such seemingly atavistic usage, but I never shall.
My English teachers said to leave out the comma in front of the word 'and' in a set: do, re, mi, fa, sol, la, ti and do. And I'm sticking with it. I'm also putting commas in front of adverbs, no matter what some trendy copy editors advise, derisively.
I agree with Lewis Thomas that the least appreciated punctuation mark is the semi-colon; how this precious tool slipped into obscurity is anyone’s guess.
I also love his equating the exclamation mark with an annoying child who’s just interrupted an adult conversation. Mommy, my butt!
I can never remember if the period is supposed to go inside or outside parenthesis (which bugs the hell out of my stickler of a wife.).
She also taught me to read what I’ve written out loud. You’ll know right away if it sounds right or not. So listen up.
In the 18th century, they often used a letter called a “long s”, which looked like an “f”. This has confiderably confufed later generations. Proving that evolving our syntax and punctuation is often a good thing.
Advertising copy is the most anarchic form of the English language. Good. We couldn't care less about complete sentences. Dumb assed things. Neither should you mystery writers.
Many formal, academic writers cannot, will not, bring themselves to use contractions. To their detriment. Americans, even smarty pants academics, won’t, don’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t even think of speaking without them, so why leave them out of their writing? Ain’t that the truth.
A number in the narrative text can usually be rendered as a number. There were over 1,000 geese soiling my beautiful lawn. But when the character is actually speaking those words, I think it should be, “There were over a thousand geese soiling my beautiful lawn.”
Because, how do you say 1,000?
Chris Knopf is an author of mysteries and thrillers, and a co-publisher at The Permanent Press.
What’s in a Query? Everything and Nothing.
When I tell people that I’ve never written a query that didn’t result in a request for pages, they can’t believe it. When I tell them I only ever sent out three (or six if you count the random assignments I was given to pitch to at conferences) queries, they are shocked.
But here’s the thing: I researched before I sent out my original set of queries. I looked not only at who represented what (which you can generally find on websites) but who sold what (which you can find out on Publishers Marketplace). I don’t care if an agent loves thrillers, if every sale she’s ever made is a cozy, she is probably not going to have the right set of contacts for thriller writers.
Because I belong to RWA, MWA, HWA and ITW, I am involved in a lot of discussions about queries. And I can also say that any query I’ve ever edited for someone has also resulted in a request for pages.
Your query is an enormously important piece of writing. If you’re looking for an agent or editor, it may be the only piece of writing the people you want to take you on ever see. If you’re self-publishing, think of it as your cover copy—it’s the thing that’s going to make readers pick up your book.
A query letter has some basic pieces, but the one most people get wrong is the part that is like cover copy, the part that hooks an agent or editor and makes them want to find out more. Because that’s the trick—it’s not a synopsis that gives away everything in your book, it’s just a taste, a tease, a tempt.
Here's a look at the cover copy for Every Dead Thing, which would make a perfect query:
Former NYPD detective Charlie "Bird" Parker is on the verge of madness. Tortured by the unsolved slayings of his wife and young daughter, he is a man consumed by guilt, regret, and the desire for revenge. When his former partner asks him to track down a missing girl, Parker finds himself drawn into a world beyond his imagining: a world where thirty-year-old killings remain shrouded in fear and lies, a world where the ghosts of the dead torment the living, a world haunted by the murderer responsible for the deaths in his family—a serial killer who uses the human body to create works of art and takes faces as his prize. But the search awakens buried instincts in Parker: instincts for survival, for compassion, for love, and, ultimately, for killing.
Aided by a beautiful young psychologist and a pair of bickering career criminals, Parker becomes the bait in a trap set in the humid bayous of Louisiana, a trap that threatens the lives of everyone in its reach. Driven by visions of the dead and the voice of an old black psychic who met a terrible end, Parker must seek a final, brutal confrontation with a murderer who has moved beyond all notions of humanity, who has set out to create a hell on earth: the serial killer known only as the Traveling Man.
The cover copy answers the three essential questions of a mystery or thriller query. (Different genres have different questions.)
- 1. Who is the protagonist? What drives him?
- 2. What's the conflict? How does he get sucked into something he can't deal with (and, of course, what is it that he's sucked into)?
- 3. What's the setting and mood?
Your query should show the mood of the book—you can tell me it's a humorous cozy, but your query should also be written in that voice. Setting is also important because in your book, setting should be a character (major or minor role, it's up to you, but it's there). You can see from the "bickering career criminals" that there will probably be some black humor and from the language — "shrouded", "fear", "torment"—that it will be grim. That's part of what an agent or editor is looking for. Not only what your story is about, but also that you're the right person to write it.
So take the time, polish your query over and over. Think it over. Send it to friends in a writing group who know nothing about your story. That's important because people who do know will fill in the blanks. Editors and agents don't have time to fill in the blanks. They need you to make it as simple and perfect as you can.
Laura K. Curtis gave up a life writing dry academic papers for writing decidedly less dry short crime stories and novel-length romantic suspense and contemporary romance. A member of RWA, MWA, ITW, and Sisters in Crime, she has trouble settling into one genre.
What If Jack the Ripper. . .
What if Jack the Ripper were alive today? Would he use Twitter? Would he understand it?
What if Jack the Ripper were alive in the 1950s and became a cardigan-wearing crooner? Would his music be any good? Would people think all the stabbing references unromantic? Imagine the holiday specials.
What if Jack the Ripper shot JFK? Has that been done before? It sounds like it's been done before. (Does it matter if it's been done before?)
What if Jack the Ripper were alive in the 1970s and got into est? How would that go?
What if Jack the Ripper were an extraterrestrial who gets befriended by a young boy who teaches him the meaning of family? The saccharine would be the deadliest part of that story.
What if Jack the Ripper were an ex-CIA agent? Trapped on a crippled passenger-filled spaceship? Being held hostage by Soviet agents? At Christmastime? Cue the clever quips.
What if Jack the Ripper joined a grunge band? A rap group? A boy band?
What if Jack the Ripper was turned into an accountant who didn’t have the most pleasant personality, oh but what he could do to a budget?
What if Jack the Ripper became a car salesman? What would he have to do for you to leave today with the best car on the lot?
What if Jack the Ripper were reborn as an opera singer? Would he be heralded for his work in Bartok’s Bluebeard’s Castle? What if his heart was really in musical theater?
What if Jack the Ripper were a mystery writer? Would writing crime fiction quench his desires?
What if Jack the Ripper were a mystery writer who had to fill a blog post?
What if Jack the Ripper was a really cute and distracting puppy with big floppy ears and the most doleful eyes? Awwwww. Name him “Saucy Jack”! “He’s a cute pup,” you might say, “but the vet bills are from hell!”
What if Jack the Ripper were a cat? What if all cats are Jack the Ripper? They are, aren’t they?
What if Jack the Ripper were a modern teenager? What if all modern teenagers are Jack the Ripper? They are, aren’t they?
What if Jack the Ripper took a job as a department store clerk who enjoys his job and has pleasant relationships with everybody? Except fry cooks, for some reason.
What if Jack the Ripper took a job as a fry cook?
What if Jack the Ripper were alive today and ran for public office? Too easy? Would he more likely become a Hollywood producer?
What if Jack the Ripper were an attorney? Not much of a stretch there either. But what if Jack the Ripper sued for residuals?
What if Jack the Ripper lived in his parents’ basement but instead of going out at night or ever he just sat in front of telly all the time eating chips and talking about disemboweling this person and eviscerating that person so much that sometimes his parents feel the need to say, “Instead of just sitting there, get off your arse and do it. Just do something.” But then he still doesn’t. Although he does go on 4chan and Reddit a lot.
What if Jack the Ripper were your chiropractor? your allergist? your dentist? Too far?
What if Jack the Ripper were Hercule Poirot? What if Jack the Ripper were Miss Marple dressed as Hercule Poirot but not for Halloween?
What if Jack the Ripper were Sherlock Holmes?
What if Jack the Ripper were Sherlock Holmes’s smarter brother who is also a vampire and a werewolf?
What if Jack the Ripper were Santa Claus? And you forgot to leave him cookies. . .
• • •
Richie Narvaez is the award-winning author of Roachkiller and Other Stories. His fiction has appeared in Plots with Guns, Sunshine Noir, Spinetingler, and more. His debut novel Hipster Death Rattle will be published in 2019.
For the Love of Noir
Ask a roomful of writers or filmmakers to define what constitutes "noir" and you’ll get a roomful of answers. At one time or another, I’ve heard or read: it’s about the discontent of humanity, it’s about losers, it glorifies losers, everyone gets screwed, the subversion of justice, villains as heroes, even that old chestnut, “the dark night of the soul.” In other words, noir life ain’t pretty.
So if noir life ain’t pretty, what’s its lure? Why do people write it? Read it? Flock to its movies? Why are people willing to read hundreds of pages or sit through two hours of a movie about doomed souls in a world where everything is stacked against them and there’s probably no good way out?
Catharsis? There but for the grace of…? The satisfaction of “Aha! I knew the world is rotten?”
Could be. In part, anyway. But my gut tells me that’s not enough. There has to be something even deeper than mere catharsis, something seductive.
I suppose there could be many answers to my question about the lure and popularity of noir, but I think at its core it’s because noir is…beautiful.
There. I’ve said it. Noir is beautiful. It’s a seedy beauty bred in shadows, to be sure, but as any artist —painters, photographers and filmmakers in particular, even sculptors — will tell you, shadows can often be more interesting than light. Shadows carve, shadows clarify. And noir, if nothing else, is a narrative of shadows; real ones in its style, metaphysical ones in its morality. Noir, then, in its indelible and iconic visual style, even in literature, and its fearless embrace of a blurred philosophy of right and wrong, is art.
Noir, whether in dark alleys or on sun drenched streets, cracks open the surface of life where the bright smile and the positive attitude will, it is falsely promised, be rewarded, and instead reveals the shadowed life underneath. Emotions held in check on life's surface, noir releases in all their rawness: sadness, disappointment, desperation, rage, heartbreak, love curdling into hate. The men and women who live in the noir world, either by choice (criminals, sleazy business types, opportunists, corrupt officials, dirty cops, etc.) or circumstance (the victimized, the unfortunate, the helpless, the trapped), are either willing or forced to express emotions and engage in actions we might normally hold in check. Their lives may be going nowhere but to doom, but the trip there sure isn’t dull. It’s full of feeling, full of danger.
• • •
Lambda and Goldie winner Ann Aptaker isn’t shy about telling you how much she loves her hometown, New York City. She swears she even feels its history; all those triumphs and tragedies of the famous and the forgotten. She’s now old enough to be part of that history, which she likes, except for the “old” part, which she’s iffy about. Ann is happy to bring you into that history in her Cantor Gold crime series.